In Marriage, Worse First Can Mean Better Later

Just a few months before John Gottman, a leading American marriage researcher and psychologist, was to be married, his father died, leaving Gottman to contend with overwhelming loss during what should have been one of the happiest times of his life. No one would have blamed him for putting the wedding on hold. But in the end, Gottman says, the strain of dealing with his grief made him that much more devoted to his future bride. "My wife helped me through it," he says. "I was able to cope with the loss, and it was really a bonding experience."

Few couples would choose to marry during periods of severe relationship stress, but then, trials come unexpectedly — you can't plan for layoffs, illness or a raging wildfire that forces a change in wedding venue 24 hours before the big event. That bad start, however, can have benefits.

Read the rest of this article in Time